Moving Through Grief

🌙 When Grief Asks Us to Show Up (Without Losing Ourselves)

Grief has a way of rearranging everything.

It asks us to show up in ways we’re not sure we can — and somehow, we do.

Recently, my father-in-law passed away. My ex-husband and I are divorced, and yet there we were, driving 1,600 miles together with our kids. I booked the hotel. I made sure everyone was fed and cared for. I did what needed to be done — as mothers often do — and I kept going. Everyone contributed. My oldest showed up for me by buying breakfast and dinner. My son and his wife brought dessert to celebrate a health miracle for me. And my daughter never left my side.

It wasn’t until I came home that it caught up with me.
Three days of migraine pain.
A body that felt like it had nothing left to give.
An autoimmune system quietly says, “You forgot about me.”

I had brought my yoga mat with me — a gesture of good intention — and it never left the car.

💔 The Layers of Grief

Grief is never just about loss. It’s about the layers — the uncertainty, the old dynamics, the tenderness of being in the same space as someone who used to be home but isn’t anymore.

It’s about the quiet balancing act of supporting others while your heart is unsteady.

And it’s about realizing afterward that you may have abandoned yourself in the process.

I don’t say that with judgment. I say it with compassion. Because showing up for others is beautiful. It matters.
And yet, so does showing up for ourselves.

🌿 The Nervous System in Grief

Grief pulls on the nervous system like an undercurrent.
We might appear calm, organized, or even strong — but inside, our system is running on adrenaline and emotional holding.

Our bodies crave safety and routine during grief, yet we often give up both.
We skip meals. We lose sleep. We stop moving. We forget to breathe.

Then the crash comes — the migraine, the flare-up, the exhaustion.
That’s not a weakness.
That’s the body finally saying, “It’s safe to stop now.”

🌸 Remembering Ourselves in the Middle of It

If there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s this:
We can show up for others without disappearing in the process.

Sometimes that means pausing for one deep breath before you walk into the next room.
Sometimes it means whispering to yourself, “I matter too.”
Sometimes it’s as simple as sitting down, feeling your feet, and letting yourself cry.

Grief will always be a part of life. But how we walk through it — and how we care for the body that carries us — matters more than we realize.

So today, if you’re holding a lot, please remember:
You don’t have to carry it all at once.
You don’t have to be the strong one every second.
You don’t have to abandon yourself to be loving.

Take a breath.
Sit down.
Be gentle.

We are all figuring it out together. 🌙

With tenderness,
Anique
© Sanctum & Soil, LLC